All's Fair in Love and War
by ibelieveinnothing
Summary: The Malfoy's are forced to reside at Grimmauld Place during the war and Draco finds himself at the centre of attention. Not that he notices of course. Eventual M. Slash. Characters will be OOC.
1. Prologue

**Title:** All's Fair in Love and War (or so they say)  
><strong>Pairings:<strong> ?/Draco, One-sided Sirius/Draco, One-sided Snape/Draco, and One-sided Harry/Draco  
><strong>Rating:<strong> eventual NC17 (M)  
><strong>Warning(s):<strong> Explicit sex, possible mpreg, AU, most of the characters will be OOC.  
><strong>Additional warning: Author is not responsible for underage readers. Mind the rating and warning(s).<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Characters are the property of JK Rowling. This story was written for fun, not for profit.  
><strong>Prompt:<strong> This is written in response to a prompt given by arte0135. The prompt was "Pairings: one-sided Snape/Draco, one-sided Sirius/Draco and one-sided Harry/Draco, ?/Draco. Well, this was going to be a summer to remember. The Malfoy's, the Weasley's and the Order are stuck at Headquarters and as much as Albus to trying to put everyone on track and focused on the war, everything is getting in the way. Snape and Sirius wooing Draco, Oblivious!Draco, scheming Narcissa who is grand-baby obsessed, Lucius with a Draco-complex (doesn't want Draco to grow up and scares away his suitors), Mrs Black's portrait telling embarrassing childhood stories in an effort to endear Draco to her son, virtue protecting Dobby. Absolute chaos. Romantic comedy.  
><strong>Beta: <strong>None

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><p><em>This is a light-hearted fic. It's not a serious story at all.<em>

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><p>"Draco, pack your trunk, we're leaving for Grimmauld Place immediately." Lucius Malfoy said as he walked into his young son's bedroom. Unfortunately for him, said son was still asleep in the enormous bed that took up most of the room. Lucius could <em>just <em>see his son's blond hair peeking out from under the dark green covers. He heaved a heavy sigh, resigning himself to the task of attempting to wake up the sleeping teenage boy who had the sleeping habits of a sloth. He leaned over the bed, momentarily distracted by the mountain of pillows on the bed (honestly, who needed that many pillows?), and fearfully reached for his son's shoulder. The Hogwarts motto was 'Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon' but Lucius knew from experience that it should actually be 'Never _Wake _a Sleeping Dragon'.

Many people were distracted by his son's appearance. The boy was petite, only standing at about five foot six (which is rather short for a seventeen year old boy), and his frame willowy and lithe. He was quite pretty too, with silky blond hair and large grey eyes, but what they didn't know was that Draco turned into a lethal creature when woken from a peaceful slumber. In fact, if provoked, no matter the situation, Draco transformed from the beautiful boy he normally was into a dangerous creature whose attacks could be deadly.

Lucius grabbed hold of Draco's shoulder but didn't shake as that would anger the boy even more. He spoke in soft tones to the boy until he saw the young blonds eyelids flutter open. The elder Malfoy quickly retreated from the bed in order to watch his son's reaction.

"Morning Daddy," Draco murmured, his voice thick with sleep. Lucius exhaled in relief, he would live to see another day.

"Draco, you need to get up." Lucius told him in a voice that brooked no argument. Draco didn't take notice of the 'voice' that Lucius used, instead choosing to whine about the situation.

"Why? I don't _want_ to get up. It's too _early_ to wake up. I mean, come on, it's _summer_ for Merlin's sake."

"Dumbledore wants everyone at Grimmauld Place immediately and that includes us Draco." Lucius was trying to be patient, he really was, but sometimes he wished that Draco _did_ actually obey his every command without question rather than just pretending to like he did in public.

"So you're finally coming out to the Order? As a spy, that is." Draco questioned with sleepy grey eyes.

"Yes Draco. I'm revealing myself as a spy to the rest of the Order. You and your Mother will stay at Headquarters to keep you both safe." Lucius replied with a straight face. However, on the inside he was jumping for joy as he watched his son climb out of bed and begin to ready himself for their departure.

"Fine. I'm up. One question however, what are you going to tell Voldy when he questions where Mummy and I are?" Lucius thought about this question for a while before he came up with a reasonable answer.

"I'll tell him that you're both in France. You're sick of English fashion and you've gone there to live among more fashionable people."

"Oh Daddy, you know us so well," Draco exclaimed with a pleased smile. He wished that he _was _going to France rather than gloomy old Grimmauld Place. How would he cope with the Gryffindor's there? This summer was going to be absolute torture.

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><p>So what did you think? I'm pretty happy with how this small section turned out but I'd appreciate any constructive criticism so please review.<p>

Thanks.


	2. Meetings at Grimmauld Place

**Warning(s):** Explicit sex, possible mpreg, AU, most of the characters will be OOC.  
><strong>Additional warning: Author is not responsible for underage readers. Mind the rating and warning(s).<br>****Disclaimer:** Characters are the property of JK Rowling. This story was written for fun, not for profit.  
><strong>Prompt:<strong> This is written in response to a prompt given by arte0135.  
><strong>Beta: <strong>None.

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><p><em>This is a light-hearted fic. It's not a serious story at all.<em>

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><p>Lucius stood in front of Draco, dressed in dark green wizarding robes, the latest fashion courtesy of Narcissa of course, with one hand on his cane and the other was gesturing in the air as he spoke.<p>

"Now Draco," Lucius began in a tone that let Draco know his Father was about to give him an incredibly long lecture. "Let's go over a few rules about what will happen when we are at Grimmauld Place." Not giving the younger blond a chance to say a word he continued with the speech that he had practiced well in advance. "You are not to be in a room without accompaniment with any male that may, or may not, ask for your hand in marriage." Lucius saw Draco's mouth open in protest but he ploughed on, ignoring his son in favour of delivering his well-rehearsed speech. "This does not include Professor Snape as I trust him with your well-being. Stay away from Gryffindor's Draco; they will bring you nothing but trouble. Stay away from Potter and stay away from the Weasley family, _especially_ those twins." Well, Draco thought, he's mentioned just about everyone; surely this can't go on for much longer. "Stay away from Black, he's a convict, and stay away from Lupin too. I'm not concerned with his _special nature_-"

"You mean his werewolf-ism?" Draco asked with a straight face.

"Draco." Lucius' voice was stern and Draco closed his mouth immediately. "Honestly, what do they teach you at that damned school? 'Werewolf-ism' is not a real word." Lucius was mocking him. Draco could tell. "As I was saying, I don't want him near you. He has been tainted by his association with Black. The only person ever to emerge from that family with a shred of sanity is your Mother and I take full credit for keeping her sane." _Oh yes Father, you've been playing spy for an ancient bumblebee against a Dark Lord who is twice as crazy and has the same amount of fashion sense as said bumblebee. That's a perfect way to keep Mother sane,_ Draco thought in a snarky tone. "Hmm, have I mentioned everyone? Let me think…" When Draco finally had the chance to question his Father's rules, he seized that opportunity with both hands.

"So, you're saying that I'll only be able to talk to you, Mother and Professor Snape? What happens if I just so happen to be walking down a corridor and, shock horror, a Gryffindor, by chance, is also walking down that very corridor? How will you monitor me at all times Father? You're not going to be around a lot because you'll be off playing spy for that twinkly-eyed Headmaster. Professor Snape basically lives in his lab and will only talk to me when he needs me to assist him…" Lucius' right eye twitched ever-so-slightly when Draco mentioned assisting another man as his mind provided thousands of lewd images involving his son 'assisting' Severus Snape with anything that the Potions Master required. Lucius shuddered in disgust and he cut Draco off while he was still rambling on about how Lucius couldn't monitor Draco every second of the day and how Luciuscouldn't protect Draco forever. That was utter nonsense; he would _always_ protect his son from lecherous men that wanted to take Draco away from him.

"I have changed my mind Draco." Draco blew out a sigh of relief, his Father had finally realised that he wasn't a child who needed constant care. "You will not talk to or be in the same room as any male, including Professor Snape, unless accompanied by myself or your Mother. If I find out that you have disobeyed me I assure you that there will be _severe_ consequences." Alas, Draco spoke too soon. Luckily for him, severe consequence just meant that he wasn't allowed to spend over a certain amount of money in a month and he was never too concerned when his Father restricted his allowance because his Mother would always make up for it. Lucius had never been harsh on him but the man still wondered why Draco never took his threats seriously. Instead of pushing his luck Draco accepted Lucius' terms, it wasn't like he wanted to be alone with any Gryffindor's for Merlin's sake.

"I understand Father," Draco agreed with a small smile. Lucius looked at his son with a bewildered mien. Draco had given up far too easily. His son was cunning, worthy of his place in Slytherin House, and the smile tugging at the teenagers lips did not bode well for anyone.

"You agree?" he questioned warily. Draco just nodded in acquiesce, his smile widening by a small fraction. "No backchat? No whining? No crying? No hexes? No threatening to get your Mother involved?" Draco just shook his head, mentally laughing at the last question. Of course Mother would be his last resort. If nothing else worked he could always count on the threat of his Mother's involvement to change Lucius' mind. His Mother could be a very scary woman when she wanted to be. "Very well then, I'm glad we could come to an agreement. We leave in ten minutes. Be ready." With that he stalked out of the door.

Draco took twenty minutes to ready himself for the journey ahead.

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><p>Draco waited until both his Father and his Mother had flooed before stepping into the fireplace. He scooped up a handful of green powder and shouted 'Number Twelve Grimmauld Place' to the empty room. As he threw the powder into the fireplace beneath his feet he was pulled along to his desired destination by an unknown force. His exit would have been dramatic to anyone viewing it from the other side. Unfortunately there was no one left in the room to watch as he was engulfed by curling green flames.<p>

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><p>Draco was somewhat shocked when the floo spat him out into a dark, dingy room. This was Grimmauld Place? His Mother always claimed that it exuded wealth and stature but Draco thought it was depressing and it seemed unloved. Cobwebs hung from the ceilings and dust particles floated in the air. The carpet was a dark green and obviously stained in places and the rug in front of the fireplace was frayed and burnt. The walls were covered dirty wallpaper that was peeling in places and showed signs of mould in others. The room had a disgusting musty smell that made Draco want to cough and gasp for air and to stop breathing at the same time. If he lived at Grimmauld he would renovate the whole house, turning it into a light welcoming house that wouldn't cause people to enter a deep depression as soon as they flooed in.<p>

He followed his parents down a hallway that was once again decorated with peeling wall paper, into another room, presumably the dining room as that would be an appropriate place for a meeting. A portrait of an old woman was placed on one of the walls; she was sat at a desk and was peering at them with curious beady eyes. She didn't say a word to them but nodded in acceptance.

Although he tried to walk beside is Father, Lucius continued to shield Draco from view even though there was no one else in the hallway. Honestly, that man was _so_ overprotective. Draco could hear pots and pans clanging as he neared the room, the smell of a home cooked stew drifted into his nose and he nearly salivated, he hadn't realised that he was hungry but faced with the prospect of a delicious meal Draco found himself to be ravenous.

Lucius flung the door open, to what Draco now realised was the kitchen, with his usual dramatic flair and all fell silent within the room. Draco decided to take a peek around his Father's body and was able to see the shocked expressions of Potter, Granger and a fair few Weasley children. He smirked, enjoying their shock at the sight of Lucius Malfoy, Death Eater Extraordinaire, standing in their kitchen as if he owned the place. Professor Snape's mouth was quirked into a barely-there smirk and Dumbledore's eyes held their ever-present twinkle. That twinkle would always annoy Draco. Mother Weasley continued to cook, Father Weasley was glaring at Lucius (what a surprise), Lupin the Werewolf barely even looked up from his newspaper but Black's reaction was the most curious by far. He was staring, wide-eyed, at Draco. Well, what he could see of the teenager because most of his small body was being blocked by his Fathers taller, broader and all-together more masculine figure. Draco couldn't decide whether Black's expression was one of shock or awe and to be honest he didn't know which he would prefer it to be.

"Hello Lucius," Dumbledore greeted in a warm tone. "I trust that you and your family arrived with no problems."

"You are quite correct Professor," Lucius said as he ushered Narcissa into the room. He tried to keep Draco behind him as he moved further into the room but the young Slytherin managed to side-step him, revealing himself to the room and to Black's insistent gaze. That was when the youngest Weasley boy decided to say his piece. His face had been changing colour at an alarming rate from pink to red to purple, all within the small amount of time that it took the Malfoys to enter the room fully.

"What are _they _doing here?" His attempt at sneering was pathetic at best, nothing compared to the patented Malfoy Sneer©. The Weasel had stood up from his seat at the table and was flailing his arms around wildly in an attempt to convey his anger.

"Mr Wealsey please sit down," Dumbledore said in a polite tone. "Lord Malfoy has been a spy for the Order of the Phoenix since the first war and his family are here at headquarters on my request."

"You've gotta be kiddin' me! They're a bunch of Death Eaters!"

Snape sneered at him and asked in a deadly voice, "How would you spy on the Dark Lord without taking his Mark Mr Weasley? How would you convince him to trust you without first pledging your supposed loyalty?" That shut the boy up but he retained his tomato like complexion.

Lucius cut though the silence with a sensible question. "Would someone show us to our rooms?"

Sirius Black jumped out of his chair and exclaimed "I'll do it!" The rest of the room looked at him in shock but he flashed a warm, bright smile at the youngest Malfoy and led the way out of the room, past the portrait of his Mother who was being surprisingly quiet and up the creaking staircase. As Draco left the room he heard Potter ask, "What the hell just happened?"

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><p>AN:

I'm so sorry this took so long.

Thanks for the reviews and I'm sorry I haven't replied yet. I shall do that now! Please review! Any ideas/constructive criticism is much appreciated.

Thanks for reading.


	3. Dealing with a Staring Sirius

**Chapter Two – Dealing with a Staring Sirius and an Overprotective Father**  
><strong>Warning(s):<strong> AU, most of the characters will be OOC.  
><strong>Additional warning: Author is not responsible for underage readers. Mind the rating and warning(s).<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Characters are the property of JK Rowling. This story was written for fun, not for profit.  
><strong>Prompt:<strong> This is written in response to a prompt given by arte0135.  
><strong>Beta: <strong>None.

_This is a light-hearted fic. It's not a serious story at all._

Sirius Black smiled as he led the Malfoy family up the stairs. Young Draco Malfoy was stunning. His appearance had brought light and life to Grimmauld Place and Sirius decided that he would bask in that light as often as he could. He led the fair-haired family up to the second floor and to a black door with an ornate silver handle.

"Here we are, this will be Draco's room," Sirius explained with a wide grin directed at his future husband. He had given Draco a room on the floor where the girls roomed. He didn't want other men to be close to his Draco. Sirius opened the heavy door with a quick flick of his hand, hoping that his effortless display of wandless magic might impress Draco. He snuck a quick glance at the object of his affections but sighed in disappointment when he noticed that the boy had taken more of an interest in his room than in Sirius. Draco was eyeing the huge amount of pillows on the bed as if he wanted to bury himself in them and stay there for the rest of his natural life. He was such a cutie.

The room wasn't as dark as the others in the house. The walls were painted in a light cream and the furniture was dark in contrast. The carpet was clean, white and fluffy; it was far nicer than the one in the room Draco flooed into. The four-poster bed could have easily fit six people and it looked fairly comfortable as it was covered in pillows. The large window let a lot of light into the room and revealed a lovely view of the garden which was nearly as nice Narcissa's at the Manor.

"Lucius, Narcissa, your bedroom is on the next floor." Sirius motioned for the elder Malfoys to follow him but Lucius remained where he was stood.

"I refuse to be on a different floor to my son. How will I look after him if he's so far away from me?" Lucius questioned in a steely voice. Narcissa released an inaudible sigh. Lucius s_till_ treated Draco like a child and it was about time that Draco was allowed to grow up and provide her with a few grandchildren to dote upon. She snuck a glance at her son just in time to see him scowl at his Father before schooling his features into perfect indifference once again.

"Only the girls room on this floor because there are only three bedrooms. The rest of the rooms on this floor are used as study rooms and living areas." Sirius explained. He then realised how overprotective Lucius was of his son. How would he court the young blond with his Father always hovering over his shoulder? At least they would have some time alone when Lucius was at Death Eater meetings. Yes, Sirius would just have to get Draco alone when Lucius wasn't in the house. His plan was perfect, if not a little simple; wait until Draco is alone and woo him. Unfortunately, Sirius didn't have a clue how to woo Draco. Maybe _Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches _would help; he'd have to steal Harry's copy. Sirius was sure that Narcissa would be on his side too, the woman was obsessed with the idea of having grandchildren running around Malfoy Manor.

Lucius nodded in acceptance before following Sirius up the stairs, Narcissa and Draco not far behind him. They walked up one flight of stairs and down a long, narrow corridor before arriving at a door that was similar to the one leading to Draco's room. He opened the door to reveal a large dark room filled with rich dark fabrics, furniture made from dark wood and a large bed. "Lucius, Narcissa, this is your room. On your left is the room that Harry and Ron live in and on the right is Fred and George's bedroom." Sirius' lips twisted into an evil smirk as he explained that little detail. Fred and George would drive Lucius insane with their constant pranks if luck was on Sirius' side.

"I absolutely refuse to-" Lucius began before Narcissa cut him off.

"Lucius, my dear, think of how much fun we'll have _forgetting_ to put up silencing charms every night," she murmured in a sultry tone, aiming a sexy wink at her husband. Lucius smirked while Draco shuddered in despair, visibly cringing. No child wanted to think about their parents doing… _things_.

"Right," Sirius said abruptly. "Moving on. Molly serves breakfast every morning from about seven until 10am, Kreacher will probably make you lunch," Sirius said. He couldn't imagine any of the Malfoys doing anything for themselves. However, Sirius would gladly do everything for the young Malfoy if it meant the sexy blond's attention was solely on him. "Molly makes us all sit down to dinner at half past six in the evening. You will _all_ be required to attend Order meetings too." He was glad that Albus has decided to include Draco in the meetings because that meant Sirius had more time to stare at him. "There are several permanent residents here at Grimmauld Place. The Weasleys live here permanently, apart from Bill, Charlie and Percy, for their protection. Harry is my Godson and he lives here too. Hermione is visiting for the summer. Snape drops in from time to time to use the Lab downstairs. I'm sure you'll want to use the Lab too Draco, I've heard you're quite the Potions prodigy." Draco gave him a winning smile for the compliment and Sirius' heart skipped a beat. Being around Draco could prove hazardous to his health. "Remus Lupin also lives here constantly but it doesn't always seem like it because he spends most of his time with Nymphadora. I suggest that you all make yourselves comfortable now as Molly will be serving dinner very soon. Draco, would you like me to escort you back down to your room?" He presented his arm to the young man but before Draco had chance to reply for himself Lucius stepped in front of his son, shielding him once again (he seemed to do that a lot), almost nose-to-nose with Sirius.

"Certainly not!" Lucius blustered. "I will walk my son downstairs and help him unpack and I shall stay with him until it is certain that he is safe from the likes of _you_!" Narcissa rolled her eyes at her husband's behaviour. She would be glad when Draco was married and she could have Lucius to herself once again. Lucius ushered Draco out of the hallway and down the stairs. Luckily, for Sirius, he hadn't sheltered the younger wizard's body fast enough and Sirius was able to sneak a quick peek at Draco perfect perky arse before it disappeared from view. The smirk on Narcissa's face let him know that he'd been caught looking and Sirius flashed a devious grin at her in return.

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><p>Draco grimaced. His father had been hovering over him for the past half-hour as he unpacked. The house-elves had taken their cases to Headquarters before Draco and his family had flooed into Grimmauld Place so his luggage had been waiting for him in his room when he had arrived. Lucius was sat in a chair by the window reading some awful book entitled '<em>Teenagers!: What Every Parent Has to Know'<em>_. _That was insulting to Draco; he wasn't some highly-strung teenager who threw a tantrum whenever he didn't get his way. Draco was just… misunderstood.

As Draco finished removing the last of his clothes from his trunk he announced that he had finished unpacking, hoping that Lucius would take the hint and leave him alone. But no, Draco wasn't that lucky. Lucius just stared at his son, uncomprehending, and simply raised a perfectly plucked blond eyebrow in reply. "You can leave now," Draco explained. Honestly, it was like conversing with a child sometimes.

"Oh, I see." Draco wasn't getting his hopes up this time. "You still need to hang the excessive amount of clothes you brought with you in the wardrobe." _Excessive amount?! _Who did that man think he was talking to? His Father had a wardrobe _three_ _times_ the size of Draco's and he had probably brought the whole thing with him. "It's easier to leave your Mother to sort our room out. You know how she gets; she can be so very obsessive about things at times." His Father was one to talk about being obsessive. Instead of commenting Draco merely nodded at his Father and patiently put his clothes in the closet, hoping that dinner would arrive quickly and put him out of his misery. Luckily for Draco it did.

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><p>Not ten minutes later announced to the whole house that dinner was ready, her shrill yet motherly voice echoing up the stairs. Lucius stood up from his chair, pocketing the book he had been reading, and gave himself a quick dust off - Salazar knows the last time anything in Grimmauld Place was last actually cleaned. He strode towards his son and took hold of the young boys shoulder steering him towards the door and down the stairs. His beautiful wife was already waiting for them by the portrait of Mrs Black, her Aunt.<p>

"Draco, these people often behave like unruly hooligans but I expect better from you. Do not lower yourself to their level and _do_ _not _speak to them. Am I understood?" Lucius raised an eyebrow at his son, expecting an answer.

"Of course Daddy," Draco replied, momentarily forgetting that he wasn't supposed to call Lucius 'Daddy' outside of their own Manor. He looked up at his Father who was smiling warmly at him and decided that one last time wouldn't hurt.

Lucius walked towards the kitchen door and opened it, revealing the dingy kitchen to his family once again. He allowed his wife to pass through first, like the gentleman he was raised to be, and she was quickly followed by his son who he shielded from view as quickly as possible. He saw Severus in a darkened corner of the kitchen and Lucius aimed a quick nod at his sullen friend before returning his attention to the others in the room. He noticed the love-sick expression that Sirius Black was aiming at his son and resolved to never let that mutt near Draco. _Ever_. The Weasley twins were smirking, it was a purely Slytherin expression, and Lucius found himself briefly concerned with the carnage they would cause during his family's stay at Grimmauld Place. Harry Potter was looking at his son, his expression a mixture of confusion and awe. It seems that Boy-Wonder had taken an interest in his son, something that Lucius would easily fix with a few well-placed glares and whispered words. The youngest two Weasley spawn were glaring at his family so Lucius sent them the Malfoy Death Glare™ and they instantly paled. Lucius was proud to see that both his son and his wife were also wearing the same expression. The Malfoy's believed strongly in family unity.

Three chairs were available at the end of the table that Severus was sat at and Lucius ushered his family towards the surly Potions Master, hoping for some decent conversation during this meal.

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><p>Draco glanced around the room. Sirius was staring at him - again. Draco felt himself blush under the older wizard's intense stare and he ducked his head to avoid being noticed. His Father was immersed within an intense conversation with Professor Snape, who had insisted that Draco call him <em>Severus<em> as they were not at Hogwarts, and Draco heard Severus mention that there would be a Death Eater's meeting quite early the next day. Draco was oddly glad about that, as even though Lucius would be in danger Draco would be free from his over-protective Father for at least a few hours.

Dinner was relatively boring, if Draco ignored the stares from Black and Potter of course, and he was happy when he was able to retire to his room - alone. He quickly changed into his black silk pyjamas and buried himself in the mountain of pillows that adorned the bed in his room. He quickly settled down for the night and dreamed of a tall, dark haired wizard who gave him pleasure and shiny gifts.

**A/N;**

Hello everyone *waves sheepishly*

I know I've been gone for a long time and it may have seemed as though this story was abandoned. I promise you that I will not abandon my stories no matter how long it may take me to update.

I'm slightly disappointed with this chapter. It doesn't seem to have the same humour and energy as the previous two but I felt the need to post it and I may re-write it later when I get back into writing.

As always I'm happy to receive reviews and constructive criticism so please review.


	4. Author's Note

Hello everyone,

As you can tell, this is just an author's note. I'm writing this because I've _finally_ got a new laptop after my last one died almost six months ago. I lost a lot of my work when my computer died but I've still got my notes (thankfully, I still have my original handwritten copies) and I hope to start writing again straight away. None of my stories have been abandoned. They will be updated eventually.

Please don't expect regular updates because it's just not possible for me, especially when I start my second year of university in September. Even though updates will be slow and erratic they _will_ happen. I will continue writing my stories and I hope that you continue to enjoy reading them.

If anyone has any questions just send me a PM :)

Thanks, Amy.


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